To my So-Called Heavenly Father by dbzgal04, literature
Literature
To my So-Called Heavenly Father
Dearest God, or Heavenly Father, you love me more than I can imagine, is that so? Well, you sure have bizarre ways of letting me know. According to your word, you create us exactly the way we are. And you knew and saw us even if our birthdates were distant and far. Apparently, you deliberately created me with autism, or at least you allowed me to be autistic. Even though you knew darn well of the hardships, challenges, and my resulting tendency to be pessimistic. Then when I was only 10 years old you decided it was time for me to start maturing and developing; it was your will that I was an early bloomer. Leading to the humiliation and mental chaos that come with developing fast; you sure do have a sick sense of humor. The challenges myself and my family had to endure due to the autism, and my beginning to develop adult features at just 10 years old…you stole my childhood for your divine delight. Just why should I love, worship and serve you, my supposedly benevolent Lord, when
They try to tell me God is good, they try to tell me worship him I should.
They say their deity is a benevolent all-loving guy, but the whole thing is just a big fat lie.
I attended church and I read the Bible, and it was clear God is more despicable than the devil.
He takes great delight in neglecting heeds, when he creates me and other folks with special needs.
I was a toddler when I was diagnosed with autism, apparently it was Heavenly Father’s will that I received doubt and criticism.
At ten years old God decided it was time for me to begin wearing bras, leading to humiliation and mental chaos.
God stole my childhood for his d
A hulking tower of insecurities is as real as a Razor-thin doll of ill-informed innocence The double-blue dodecahedron that's rarely kissed Tempestuous illusions cackling in the tears of muscle tendons Prodigality devouring the health of those who taste stability Sullen souls questioning the filigree in their blessed lives' Conjectures pleasured with stares from brides and grooms The fear of unshakable loneliness Hatred doesn't discriminate; an irony that we place at the Entrances' of temples, wrapped in neon foliage as if to keep The meek from learning how to mature When a vixen struggles to accept the flesh, compassion floods Her cluttered sky-- just how it should be When a casanova curses his catalyst, the audience is evenly split; Those who feel the crippling weight of traditionalism and those who Endorse his destruction through various breeds of verbal sewage-- Ignoring physical limits, laughing at disabilities, and shouting at the Void like a semi-pacifistic wyvern
There's a strange kind of air that's been frollicking since The weeds infested the ancient technology When truth teetered on the eye of a titanium needle, Signs of sickness meandered under the cracked glass The umbrage failed to keep eyes dry Then a sudden obnubilation coveted validation It was too much like... Tampering with dark matter Filling volcanoes with dead dragons Gnawing on clouds before they become tornados Silencing lions wrapped in barbed wire Feeding homunculi to sleepy nymphs Vomiting elegies during a secret wedding Collecting righteous lies Tarnishing vivacious corruption Belittling pious apostates Mixing religions with secular fingers Strangling the last Basilisk Nullifying a Selkie's spell Purifying Longinus' lance Interrupting Metatron's prayer But each hiatus sounds like wyverns convulsing That's not what was written on the ceiling This is not how any spirit should die By using the soft sediment, the end will be Launched far into the future Unspoken
I want hands around my throat, squeezing with all force Semi-fictitiously: Unable to feel the pain, the lack of air entering my lungs, But knowing that this body will soon stop functioning, No longer having the ability to ruin a person's life Vete al infierno, pedazo de mierda
I always say, "Death can't come quick enough," yet I look back at my (small) accomplishments over the past Week, month, year, or decade, feeling a sense of Unacceptable self-hatred; like a joke that digs Too deep into one's ego Did I save a stranger from the brink of destruction? Did I bury true knowledge in the mind of a friend? Did I bring an abrupt halt to a beast's scheme? As much as I crave the separation of soul and body, I don't enjoy the idea of my story ending before this point, Now knowing what could have been
One sin has finally caught up with the other After sharing your flesh with an battalion of men, an arrow Pierced the ignominious liturgy that was keeping wings white, Loved ones from feeling the tremor of psychopathy, and the Sky blue enough to believe in oceans This is not a blessing, because you're still meditating in a pond of Irish elixir; you've seen what happened to me, yet you've chosen The path that will only lead to another prolonged suicide Whose blood are you desiring? We refuse to contribute to this new breed of bedlam We want to put an end to the flow of demon saliva We must approach like spiders underneath filth We cannot guarantee a high echelon for anyone If the woe that we've been breathing is the result of A whimpering truth, then the soul sleeping deep within you Will face tribulations much unlike yours You will scream at the child you've ruined, mutilate their Spirit and body, and lash out at those who were there to Make your life an ethereal story But if all
He flaunted the idea of freedom, knowing that I've been sleeping in misery for almost an infinity, Yet decided to vomit on the hope that just came back from hiatus You haven't grown up She brought all of this chaos to the surface, years ago by Simultaneously creating and destroying, like a nephilim who Became God You have failed in the most beautiful ways The rest simply distract themselves with everything that I will never have, not understanding how much I admire All the ways that Death can claim an unsuspecting person Have each of you lost the will to love me? I collected so many fragments of joy; Bidding farewell to this chapter in my story Reminiscing about all that has happened during the decade Settling into a new, much more exciting environment No longer desiring that common piece of adulthood Introducing someone who signifies my independence Adventures with people far from death Discarding purity under my own roof Throwing away my fear of a crumbling shanty Pulling my
An old lady violently whispered into my ear, "God cares naught for the pursuit of knowledge" That's what made me kiss the Bible, the Torah, The Quran, the Goetia, and all apocrypha, then Utter phrases that will surely be misconstrued as An atheist's prayer I never asked to be a part of this vile game; Expected to throw away the few things that make me happy, Spit on the version of myself that was smote before I entered This world, and guess which holy scripture has the most truth I was dragged into this place by a man and woman who Swallowed sin like water, one being touched by Jesus Well-after decimating my future, and the other remaining An enigma to us all Is that how I can meet Him? By swimming through drugs, alcohol, sex, thievery, and Almost-murder? Well, those options were being tossed into a chasm while She was pumping me with Satan's nectar The Lord's word was incontrovertible for me; Unable to become an adult outside of what the law says, I am bound to every form of
JoeEyeStepOnMonsters on DeviantArthttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/https://www.deviantart.com/joeeyesteponmonsters/art/Light-872407263JoeEyeStepOnMonsters